I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
