We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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