Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Someone signed my nipple.
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