I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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