check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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