shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
