Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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