If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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