brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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