all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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