in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
