You can't special order awesome
birth control should be required to get into college
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
