She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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