so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
