come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
