I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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