Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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