I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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