I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
BRING THE BAGELS
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
