YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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