it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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