I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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