WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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