You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
