just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
