Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
