tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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