and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was born a porn star she said
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
