was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
