ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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