That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
