My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
