Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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