We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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