called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
