LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
