peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
