So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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