Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
