PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
