come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
