I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
