problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
