what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
