she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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