$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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