would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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