You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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