i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
