even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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