I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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